I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
