i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
