Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize