How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
