Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
