The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
