yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
