I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
