tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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