1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
