Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
