dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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