Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
