dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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