Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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