OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
