I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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