Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
