You just made me feel so damn special
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
