He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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