i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
