i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize