i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
