This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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