the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
