Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
