from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
