just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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