I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
