I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
