youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was confusing and full of hummus
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
