Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
