I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
