hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
