he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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