never play flip cup with pint glasses
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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