i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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