I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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