Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
