So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
