you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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