If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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