i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
