we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
