Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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