Who did Billy Mays play for?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize