haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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