im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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