I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
