she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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