I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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