he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
