I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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