that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
