For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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