Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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