community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize