how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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