if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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