That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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