oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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