her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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