Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
