What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
