i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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