I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
are you so shy because you have an std?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
