i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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