She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was like having sex with a tree stump
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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