my vag is so smooth its legendary
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
