Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
