I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
