When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
