You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
