the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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