the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
